Marriage is for Losers, Celibacy is for Fools

In Marriage is for Losers Dr. John R. Adolph challenges us in this book that marriage is for losers. Every couple must lose in order to win in your marriages. The fundamental building block in any relationship starts with God at the center. Only God can help us lose selfishness, lose an unforgiving spirit, lose the bad negative attitudes that we carry as baggage. Only God can keep us from arguments, and teach us to communicate by speaking and listening. Since none of us are perfect, nor always kind, thoughtful, understanding, considerate and loving, we need to learn how to forgive. Dr. John R. Adolph nails it for us showing us how to do marriage God's way. I wished someone had pointed these principles out for me and my wife when we first started on our journey, the travel would have been much smoother. Celibacy Is For Fools The only way to adequately describe "it" is by calling it "the big IT." The world loves to talk about "it." Hollywood consistently unleashes movies filled with "it." Kids (just like I did) snicker and joke about "it" on playgrounds and in school hallways. Parents become uncomfortable even considering when might be the appropriate time to bring "it" up to their growing, pre-pubescent children who are constantly being sent a myriad of messages about "it." The "it", of course, is the s-word. You know: s-e-x. A couple of years ago, I had a teenager say to me as I was observing his Sunday school class, "Pastor Noble, in this class we always talk about the devil and temptation, especially drugs and alcohol. But when is our teacher going to talk to us about, um, you know, sex? I've asked, but Bro. Sunday-School-Teacher doesn't want to deal with it. And, in my opinion, that's the big one. Yeah, sex is the big one. Since he doesn't want to talk to us about it, is there a book you could recommend that we read on our own?" Enter the author of this book and my long-time friend, John Adolph. John understands very well that age-old assumptions about sex - assumptions that were once considered bedrocks of our puritanical, prudish, head-in-the-sand society - can no longer be considered safe assumptions. Sex before marriage is as common and unquestioned now as abstinence until marriage once was. Face it: those days of hushed tones, taboo subjects and nothing-but-the-missionary-position are long gone. Sex is here; sex is hot; sex is, well, sexy; and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. John has taken the mantle upon himself and has forged ahead with a boldness that I have come to expect from him. In fact, as I read the preview copy he sent to me, it dawned on me that John uses the word sex more in the first three paragraphs than most Christians ever hear in a lifetime of attending church! With disease and sickness and ignorance ever on the rise, someone has to take off the clergy collar and cassock and boldly go where few pastors have ever gone before. I have known John since we first met in the bookstore of the Morehouse School of Religion years ago (don't you dare ask how many years), and I can honestly say that he is broad shouldered enough to broach "it", tackle "it", deal with "it", and let the chips fall wherever they may. Be forewarned that we may not all agree upon every conclusion drawn nor upon every exegetical device employed within these pages, but shame on us if we allow disagreement to hinder us from at least engaging this most important discussion within the body of Christ. I applaud and salute my friend for his willingness to lead the way in educating us all about God's will concerning this gift that God has given us; you know..."it." Dr. Derrick-Lewis Noble, Pastor Crenshaw United Methodist Church Los Angeles, CA