Confessions of the Reluctant Stripper

Help Wanted: Adults Wanted For Local Talent AgencyRequirements: Secure, Confident, Uninhibited, and Dependable To be a successful stripper a person would need to be secure, confident, uninhibited, and dependable. It’s no wonder why I never found success working inside of the G-string nation as a male stripper. Weekend after weekend, the phrase, 'The stripper is here!!!' produced more fear and anxiety inside of me every time I knocked on a door. Often I would ask myself on my way to perform a show, 'How on earth, did I get here?' Growing up, my career ambitions were normal. At different points in my life, I considered careers in firefighting, law enforcement, and as an adventuresome cowboy. There were times in my life I did have the chance to wear the uniforms and the clothes of those careers; however, that’s not what I had in mind while I patiently let girls use their teeth to insert cash down my G-string. I lived the life of a rock star without all of the fame...or fortune. I attended parties in shady places, and I woke up in different beds intertwined with sweaty naked bodies. There were drugs, limos, strippers and fans. I was admired and hated by other men. I, also, knew some of the ladies I entertained went home to their husbands and boyfriends with one thing on their mind. These guys should have thanked me in the morning. Despite the girls, limo services, drugs, and quick cash, I dreaded every show offered to me. I was introverted, insecure, boring, and I suffered from any number of anxieties including, stage fright. After a time of homelessness, stripping afforded me a means to transition in life. When the opportunity presented itself, I jumped into the world of body oils, adult toys, chairs, and G-strings and became a Reluctant Stripper. Bonus Story Included at the end of Confessions of the Reluctant StripperRoller Derby Apocalypse: The Queens of Iron