When It’s Not as Simple as the Birds and the Bees

Sandhya’s life was magical. She married her best friend, Tyler Graves, and a few short months later, their dreams of growing their family became a reality - she was pregnant. Yet, on the very night they were out celebrating the end of their first trimester, Sandhya had to be rushed to the hospital. Amidst the sterile rooms of the emergency room and the unfriendly, cold resident on duty, Sandhya and Ty were told their baby had died. Stunned and shaken, they went home to await the physical and emotional pain and grief that comes with miscarrying a baby. Little did they know, their dreams of having a family would be years away. Their struggle with infertility, in-vitro fertilization, repeated pregnancy loss and serious health issues plagued them for the next several years. In this personal memoir, Sandhya shares intimate and heart-wrenching details of fertility procedures and the emotional turmoil that accompanies multiple in-vitro fertilization attempts, miscarriages, and a tragic molar pregnancy that put their dreams of starting a family on hold in order to make sure Sandhya did not have cancer. Speaking candidly, Sandhya, also discusses the grief she personally experienced with multiple pregnancy losses, her husband’s own heartache, and how many people could not understand what they were going through or simply chose to downplay their feelings. In addition, she addresses the all too common feelings of anger, jealousy and longing when seeing these dreams come true for everyone else, yet not for yourself. What normally may break apart a relationship, caused Ty and Sandhya to pull together and find a deeper level of love and commitment. Their dreams of having children only grew stronger and their struggles forced them to consider options they never thought they would have to, including; adoption and surrogacy. These options forced them to put other dreams, such as traveling and moving, on hold as they ventured into new territories. Another year passed and their faith wavered, yet they never gave up on their dream. Their continuous strength led them on an amazing journey to find hope and make their dreams a reality.