The Stressed Brain

This book was written because stress is often discussed too simply. We are sometimes told to calm down, stop worrying, think positively, take a vacation, pray more, exercise more, or simply learn how to relax. While each of these suggestions may contain some value, stress is more complicated than any single solution. Stress involves the brain, the body, our thoughts, emotions, relationships, environment, responsibilities, expectations, memories, beliefs, habits, and interpretation of what is happening around us. For people of faith, stress also intersects with prayer, trust, purpose, disappointment, waiting, suffering, and our understanding of God.The goal of this book is not to teach you how to eliminate every stressful situation from your life. That would be unrealistic. As long as we are living, loving, working, raising families, building relationships, pursuing goals, experiencing change, facing uncertainty, and caring about other people, there will be stress. The greater goal is to understand what happens to us under pressure and to develop healthier ways of responding when that pressure comes.Throughout these chapters, we have explored what happens when the mind perceives threat, how stress enters the body, how triggers activate familiar patterns, and how our thoughts can increase or decrease emotional pressure. We have examined worry, fear, anger, grief, loneliness, rejection, sickness, waiting, financial pressure, workplace stress, family stress, marital stress, communication difficulties, burnout, boundaries, and the need for social support. We have also explored practical approaches to emotional regulation, calming the nervous system, sleep, exercise, nutrition, self-care, resilience, prayer, biblical meditation, purpose, meaning, and developing an individualized stress-management plan.One of the central ideas running throughout this book is that stress is not merely something happening around us. It is also something happening within us. Two people can experience the same event and respond very differently because they may interpret the event differently, have different histories, possess different coping resources, and perceive different levels of threat. This does not mean that stress is imaginary or that difficult circumstances can simply be thought away. Some problems are genuinely painful. Some losses cannot be reversed. Some environments need to change. Some relationships require boundaries. Some illnesses require medical treatment. Some psychological difficulties require professional care. Some financial and workplace problems require practical solutions. Healthy stress management recognizes both sides of the equation: sometimes we need to change our response, and sometimes something in our circumstances genuinely needs to change.This is where psychology can be enormously helpful. Understanding the stressed brain helps us recognize why we may think differently when overwhelmed, why our attention narrows under pressure, why our bodies become activated, why sleep can become difficult, why emotions intensify, and why behaviours we later regret can occur so quickly. Cognitive behavioural principles help us examine the relationship between situations, thoughts, emotions, physical responses, behaviours, and consequences. Emotional-regulation strategies teach us that feelings can be acknowledged without allowing every feeling to determine our actions. Behavioural strategies remind us that sometimes changing what we do can begin changing how we feel.