The Book of Almosts, Nice Tries, and Good Attempts

A delightfully illustrated, satirical book of VERY short stories and tall tales-most of which are humorous-all of which were meant to be funny. Perfect for a coffee table, or to balance a chair with a short leg! Not ideal for children.If you were searching for a quirky book by a first-time author, of no acclaim, who was probably drunk 30-35% of the time he insisted he was writing, then this could be the perfect purchase for you! Or ... and hear me out on this ... it’s also possible that this book could be a total waste of your time and money. And that speaks to a simple truth. Sometimes, life works out for us. Sometimes, it doesn’t. Of course, if you’re the protagonist in any of the stories in this book, always assume it will be the latter.The Book of Almosts, Nice Tries, and Good Attempts is a series of illustrated tales, for adult readers, who take great pleasure in seeing others fail. The second fastest gun in the West meets the guy who is quicker on the draw. The woman who claimed to have exact change fails to find a single penny. Even the guy who tries to build a better ark than Noah ends up treading water. It’s a book where no one wins, except you, the reader ... because you wisely decided to buy it.Or maybe you didn’t. What do I know? I’m just a guy who’s about to step out to get another drink.By the way ... This book could be a great gift idea for that friend of yours with the fantastic sense of humor. They’d definitely appreciate it. Just saying.WARNING: Please be advised that this book contains a few foul words and humor more suited to adults than children. It also contains way, way, way, way too much redundancy.NOTE ON PRICING: The retail prices for this book aren’t cheap. I get it. Please know that as the author/publisher, I am slated to earn under $2.00 USD on any retail sale of the paperback and under $3.00 USD on the hardcover (in the U.S.). It’s a modest amount. My simple goal was to write something that would spark a smile, with the help of a phenomenally talented illustrator, and for at least the hardcover edit to be worthy of a place on your coffee table. To do that, and to not lose money in the process, this is the pricing I am able to provide. Thank you for understanding.Follow me on Instragram: @Almostabook