Stop Managing Everyone

From the licensed psychologist behind The Invisible Load Series comes the book for every woman who has realized she is managing not just her own life but everyone else’s too.You’re not controlling. You’re just trying to make sure things go well. That your partner doesn’t forget the appointment. That your adult child doesn’t walk into a problem you could see coming. That the situation that’s about to get complicated doesn’t get complicated, because you stepped in before it could.You’ve been doing this so long and so automatically that most of the time you don’t notice it’s happening. You just know that you’re exhausted, that other people seem to function less well than they should, and that you can’t quite find where your own life begins.Stop Managing Everyone names what is actually happening to you. The psychology behind the pattern. The neuroscience of constant vigilance and what it does to the body and the brain. The family systems research on why the people you manage may actually be less capable because of your management. The emotional labor that has never been counted. And the specific, research-supported steps that lead to a different way of living.Dr. Patricia A. Farrell draws on decades of research in family systems, behavioral psychology, and the invisible labor of women to tell the truth about over-functioning: what it is, how you came to be so good at it, and what it costs you and the people around you.No patient stories. No simplified advice. No pretense that this is easy to change. Just the research, stated clearly, and a real path out of a pattern that has been running your life.If you’re the one who holds everything together, this book