One Curious Doctor

'What happens when a physician can’t simply heal himself? Does he still get to call himself doctor when he no longer sees patients? What is his place in the world? In Hilton Koppe’s case, he writes an honest, vulnerable, gorgeous memoir inviting the reader into his journey from illness to health, from his family’s origins fleeing Lithuania and Germany during World War II to becoming a country doctor in Australia. Though he no longer works in a clinic, Hilton continues to heal with his words. One Curious Doctor is a medical memoir with heart.'  Kim Suhr, author of Nothing to Lose (Cornerstone Press, 2018) and director of Red Oak WritingWelcome to One Curious Doctor. Thank you for your willingness to take over the care of the stories set down in this book. Some of these stories were born out of my years working as a doctor in small-town Australia. Other stories have their roots in my personal journey as a migrant growing up in 1960s Sydney. As a descendent of grandparents who were forced to escape Europe to survive. And as the son of parents who died prematurely from conditions that modern medicine, my professional domain, could not cure.In 2019, these worlds collided. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I received this diagnosis both as a shock - This can’t be happening to me. I’m a doctor. Not a patient! And as a gift - Does this mean I actually get to rest now?As the fallout from the trauma of the diagnosis began to settle, I tried to work out how I ended up in this position. Was the PTSD a consequence of the repeated losses I experienced in my working life? Did it come from my life-long feelings of being an outsider trying so hard to fit in? Or was it a result of trauma experienced by my parents and grandparents in their search for security across three continents? And if so, how much of this was learnt, and how much was inherited?Maybe it was all down to my personality type. My nature. Did the qualities which made me a trusted doctor also make me more vulnerable to the inevitable impact of caring for people over many years?I do not yet have answers to these questions. But I am keen to share my ponderings with you in One Curious Doctor - the case history of a doctor who is curious to understand more about himself and who is also curious in the sense of perhaps being a little unusual. Be patient with this curious doctor. He has done his best without always getting things right. May I ask you to care for these stories as a kind doctor might care for a new patient - with curiosity and compassion.With my best wishes,Hilton Koppe, MB BS MFM FRACGP.Spring, 2022