Love and Identity in Western Society

Love shapes the way we understand ourselves and the world around us. While research has long examined love in various contexts, this study seeks to explore the lived experiences of individuals as they navigate the dynamic interplay between their sense of love and their self-perception. Guided by Attachment Theory and Maslow’s Theory of Motivation, this research investigates how one’s sense of being loved or unloved informs their self-perception, and vice versa. Using a qualitative, Hermeneutic Phenomenological (Heidegger, 1927/1962) approach and Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) (Smith et al., 2009), this study offers a richly contextualized and interpretive examination of participant narratives. Data were collected through in-depth, semi-structured Zoom interviews with ten adult participants across the United States who shared personal stories about how love, or a lack thereof, and in different forms, has impacted their self-perception. And, bidirectionally, they shared how their self-perception has impacted their sense of love, or a lack thereof. Special attention was given to formative relational experiences and the emotional and cognitive shifts that emerged as participants made sense of who they are in light of how they were loved, or unloved, across their lifespan, as well as the ways motivation plays a role in their pursuit of love through it all.