He Gave Me Beauty for Ashes

He Gave Me Beautyfor Ashes(Isaiah 61:3)Olayinka AkingbadeA Journal on my Triumph Over Breast CancerCONTENTSPreface ....................................................................................................7The Pains And The Sorrow ....................................................................9Thanksgiving .......................................................................................11Highlights ............................................................................................17EL ME DIO BELLEZA EN LUGAR DE CENIZASPrologo .................................................................................................37Los Dolores Y La Pena ..........................................................................39Agradecimietos .....................................................................................41Refl ejos ................................................................................................477PREFACEThis journal was written as part of the healing process during my battlewith cancer, and as an inspiration to others. I am not an experienced writer;however, jotting everything down along the way, not knowing how it wasall going to end, seemed adventurous for me. Encouraged to write by myniece Dr. Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo and my friend Natalie Jameswhile I was sick, I did not realize how effective and helpful this journal wasgoing to be.Some of the proceeds of the sale of this book will go to support theAmerican Cancer Society, in the hopes that more patients may be placedon Abraxane, the chemotherapy medication which helped so much duringmy recovery process, that, although seemingly inescapable, I did not needto have a Mastectomy after all!THE PAINS AND THE SORROWWhile composing this work, I recalled certain feelings that I experiencedbut had not included in the journal: The very first time I receivedchemotherapy, I felt weak, nauseated, and quite aggravated from thepain on my chest. My doctor had warned me that this was going to bevery strong chemotherapy, and my heart had to be strong in order towithstand it. I vomited several times, and almost vomited on my visitors!And there were times when the pain was so strong, it would hurt if I criedor laughed. Any movement was excruciatingly painful; all I could bearwas to lie down on my side.I just wanted to be left alone. In fact, I remember instructing my olderson I did not want to speak to anyone, including 'Big Mommy', (theterm of endearment my son had given to my sister Abosede Thomas, hisGodmother). She had traveled from New York to Florida with her friendYvonne Charles within 72 hours of hearing that I was admitted to thehospital, diagnosed with breast cancer. Being a competent nurse, she didnothing but shower me with care, yet I felt annoyed with all the attention.I recall her asking me if I was going through depression . . . I’m sure I was.I also remember sending away my friend Lourdes and my niece Oyinlola,who also came from New York to assist me, telling them I just wanted tobe left alone.I now realize all these feelings of pain, despair, sorrow and lonelinessare side effects of the chemotherapy. There were moments of confusionwhen I was not really sure what God was up to in all of this. Even thoughI trusted God knowing He’s in control and on the Throne, I still had manyquestions without answers, wondering what this was all about and how Iwas going to come out of it.There were times when fear came knocking at the door, rememberingwhat had happened to people I knew that had suffered breast cancer andEl me dio Belleza en Lugar de Cenizas(Isaias 61:3)Olayinka AkingbadeDiario de Mi Triunfo Sobre el Cancer de SenoPROLOGOEste diario fue escrito como parte de mi proceso de sanidad durante mibatalla contra el cancer, y como inspiración a otros. No soy una escritoracon experiencia; sin embargo, el escribirlo todo durante el proceso, sin sabercomo este