Beyond Sugar & Spice

When you think about parenting, what messages have you carried forward from your own childhood about what it means to be a 'girl' or a 'boy'-and how might those messages be shaping your child’s world today?Do you feel differently when a little girl wants to dress up like Superman than when a little boy wants to dress like Wonder Woman? Do you catch yourself worrying when boys love pink-or when girls love Barbies?There’s a name for these feelings and the way society treats femininity: FEMMEPHOBIA.Femmephobia refers to the way femininity is strictly controlled (who is 'allowed' to be feminine, and how) and devalued (treated as less valuable than masculinity). It shapes parenting before a child is born, through baby clothes, names, toys, compliments, discipline, and the everyday interactions that surround family life. Femmephobia also shapes childhood on the playground, during dress-up, in media representation, in sports, and in the subtle pressures that teach children to reject femininity in order to be accepted or succeed. With striking illustrations and reflective activities, Beyond Sugar and Spice offers a practical, compassionate guide for anyone raising children in a world shaped by gender expectations-not just parents of LGBTQ+ or gender-creative kids. Blending research, lived experience, and clinical insight, the workbook helps caregivers recognize how femininity is policed, mocked, restricted, or erased, and how messages about femininity shape children’s self-esteem, relationships, and sense of possibility. Whether you’re parenting a toddler, a teen, or reparenting your own inner child, this workbook offers actionable tools to help you raise children who are not limited by gendered expectations.