Before You Say Goodbye

I am especially hopeful that this book will be useful to those who find marriage a daily battle. I ask those couples to read this book thoughtfully and prayerfully, and with hope. During a difficult time in my own life, a wise friend and counselor reminded me of Jacob’s wrestling match with God in Genesis 32. After wrestling all night, God asked Jacob to let him go and 'touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched' (Genesis 32:25). But Jacob refused to give up and let go. Instead, Jacob replied, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me' (Genesis 32:26). And so God Blessed him. 'John' my friend said, 'don’t let go until you get every blessing that God is trying to give you through this.' I pray that you’ll hold on and wrestle well and that God will bless you with more than you’ve dared to ask for. But I want you to understand, as well, that while a marriage book can be tremendous help, if misused it can do as much harm as good therefore, let me offer a few precautions to keep you on track. Don’t read this book simply because you think your spouse needs to read it. No doubt, as you read it your spouse’s failings will come to mind. But your real focus must be on how you can change. Resist the temptation to meditate on your spouse’s shortcomings. Instead concentrate on learning how to live a life of love and trust God with the results. Don’t allow any marriage book to become a substitute for personal support and counsel. God designed life and marriage to community enterprises. A book may help but the complexities of life and marriage will always require more than a good book. Strive to include trusted friends, godly ministers, and wise counselors on your journey, especially if your spouse is battling addiction or is abusive. I hope that this book, in addition to being useful to individuals and couples will be useful in other settings: small group Bible studies Sunday school electives, perhaps even seminary classrooms. Marriage is not always easy. In fact, at times, it can be downright difficult and painful. What we often forget is that marriage can also be a very effective tool for spiritual transformation and for Christian witness. Jenkins primary thesis is that God can use the ordinary moments of our marriages to grow us spiritually, to draw us closer to God, and to help us to heal the more profound problems that become stumbling blocks in our marriage relationships 3