2 Fast Going Nowhere

I was pretending. I hated the way he referred to me 'as his goodgirl gone bad,' we were 'Bonney and Clyde,' his nasty jokes, hisarrogant tone whenever he talked about hustlin’. I listened to thatshit day in and day out, but I love him.There was nobody I could talk to about Aman. Tee and Iweren’t kicking it anymore. I got tired of her jealous lies. My momsdidn’t know shit, but I doubt she would have cared. GeraldinePrice was at home with a joint in one hand, and a screwdriverin the other. Gerri at one time had been one of the prettiest girlsin Foundation Park, but years of drinking, druggin’, and havingbabies, had added years to her round face. I am the oldest out ofthree girls, and mom’s just hated me for some reason. I think she’smad at my deadbeat daddy, for not sticking around. Growingup, it didn’t matter whatever I did, she was always pissed. 'La,you didn’t wash the dishes right, I didn’t raise no trifiling girls, soclean that bathroom again.' 'Don’t ask about your sorry daddy,if he wanted your ass, he would be here with you.' Gerri didn’tmind hurting your feelings. In a lot of ways we are alike, we don’ttake no mess. I just wish we could get along better, yet I wishshe would stop drinking, and stop being so mean to me. WhenI was little, and she made me mad, I would pretend to runawayto my father’s house, he would be loving, warm and happy tosee me; whoever he is. I’ve never met the man; don’t even havea picture of him.It’s a sour note with moms, she won’t tell me his name, ormaybe she’s too ashamed to tell me she never knew it. Moms usedto be hot stuff. Back in the day, she could be with any dude shewanted. Our house on Des Moines Avenue was always jumping.There were late-night parties, drunken dances, Aunt Phyllis inthe kitchen, frying chicken dinners, liquor, and weed runningrampant. Mom used to run a shot house, until Turner came along.Turner was mom’s on-again, off-again boyfriend. He used to work2 FAST GOING NOWHERE 21at the Coca-Cola plant making good money. I remember he usedto give us ten dollars a piece, every time he saw us. He used todrive a tan Cadillac with the spare on the back. Now he rides aten speed. The both of them now, just spend their time gettingdrunk. When they’re on the outs, it was usually because Turnerdrank up all the rent money, or the drug dealers already have hismoney from his SSI check.Gerri thinks I’m stupid, but I know Turner does crack, andI just prey she doesn’t start. As long as the money was flowing,things were chill, but I hated being home. I didn’t want to bewatching no kids, I felt like I was just the babysitter. So I stayedgone at least two to three nights a week. I figured I was helpingout the grocery bill. I thought my life was fine as long as I hadmy man, and that was all that mattered to me. The bottom wasabout to fall from under, and I didn’t even have a clue.22 ZENOBIA1-27-92'Daddy Fuck Me,' I screamed, as I rode Aman. My body was allover the map. I was in the zone, and ready to go into overdrivefor the second time within an hour. The constant knocking onthe door cut short, our explosion of ecstasy.'Uh umm baby, don’t stop. I’m almost there,' I screamed.'Take this dick!' Aman said, as he rocked my body, he loveshis pussy. As we rocked back and forth, my eyes rolling in theback of my head, as my fingers gripped his dreads, I thought Icould fuck him all day long. It was so good.BAM! My eyes opened wide, only to find the door kicked offthe hinges. Aman rose up.'Man what the fuck you doing?!' Aman asked, as three mendressed in black hoodies, and ski masks came barreling in.'Where is it, man?' The fat one said, as he came toward me,pulling the covers off my naked body.'Tie him and his bitch up,' shouted one of the men, as theygrabbed me out of bed, slapping me on the ass, joking how PHAT Iwas. One of them tied my legs, and arms with duct tape. I squirmedbut he pulled me back by my hair, as the other two, ransacked